Alone
Every living creature on Earth dies alone. That's how it goes, right? It seems like such a sad thing to think about, but I actually get great relief just from saying it out loud.
Every living creature on Earth dies alone.
Some of us are born apart from others. Not close to our mothers, not close to our fathers. Too young or too old to connect with our siblings, if they're even still alive. Two or three friends, no one so close. Slipping into romantic relationships, gliding out just as easily, knowing that the other person never had the ability to get close to you in the first place.
Who has that ability? Who can get close to me? No one, but it's okay. Once I realized that I will, in the physical and/or emotional senses, be alone until I cease to exist, I was just fine.
I am happy. My family, my friends; I'm grateful that they're near me, healthy and alive. They mean everything to me. And I am capable of having the occasional fulfilling emotional encounter with someone I'm fucking. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not crying over here. I'm just saying it's a thing I've made peace with, however sad it sounds. I'm always alone, but it's okay.
Every living creature on Earth dies alone.
Some of us are born apart from others. Not close to our mothers, not close to our fathers. Too young or too old to connect with our siblings, if they're even still alive. Two or three friends, no one so close. Slipping into romantic relationships, gliding out just as easily, knowing that the other person never had the ability to get close to you in the first place.
Who has that ability? Who can get close to me? No one, but it's okay. Once I realized that I will, in the physical and/or emotional senses, be alone until I cease to exist, I was just fine.
I am happy. My family, my friends; I'm grateful that they're near me, healthy and alive. They mean everything to me. And I am capable of having the occasional fulfilling emotional encounter with someone I'm fucking. Don't misunderstand me; I'm not crying over here. I'm just saying it's a thing I've made peace with, however sad it sounds. I'm always alone, but it's okay.
posted by Alexis @ 12:05 AM
3 Comments:
At 3:52 AM,
Anonymous said…
'She thought of the narrowness of the limits within which a human soul may speak and be understood by its nearest of mental kin, of how soon it reaches that solitary land of the individual experience, in which no fellow footfall is ever heard.' ( Olive Schreiner, quoted by Patrick White at the beginning of his novel The Aunt's Story ).
At 9:17 AM,
Dulcinea said…
I hear you girl, but we can be alone together.
At 10:12 PM,
Anonymous said…
To paraphrase Rilke, "for ultimately, and precisely in the deepest and most unspeakable matters, we are unspeakably alone."
To understand this is to lay the foundation for the most genuine human relationships, as well as the most genuine creativity.
Rock. On.
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