Three Strikes
When your list of hobbies includes bedding bartenders, you expect to get stood up once in a while.
Once in a while.
But three strikes and you're out, baby. I don't care how pretty you are.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with guys these days? Every goddamn one I know is caught between his instinctive urge to screw anything that moves and his emotional longing to shack up and find a bride before his 30th birthday. Like it's a shameful thing to be a bachelor in this town. Minneapolis is home to the most beautiful women in the country! Get out there and get laid, for chrissakes.
My boy du jour is having some sort of crisis over our sex-only relationship. Who cares if I don't want to have dinner first? That's fifty bucks he just saved. Who cares if I don't invite him out for drinks with my friends? My friends are boring. Who cares if I don't want to talk about my job? Trust me, he doesn't want to know some of the shit I do on a daily basis.
*drums fingers*
I'm bored. I need something to occupy my mind and body tonight.
Once in a while.
But three strikes and you're out, baby. I don't care how pretty you are.
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with guys these days? Every goddamn one I know is caught between his instinctive urge to screw anything that moves and his emotional longing to shack up and find a bride before his 30th birthday. Like it's a shameful thing to be a bachelor in this town. Minneapolis is home to the most beautiful women in the country! Get out there and get laid, for chrissakes.
My boy du jour is having some sort of crisis over our sex-only relationship. Who cares if I don't want to have dinner first? That's fifty bucks he just saved. Who cares if I don't invite him out for drinks with my friends? My friends are boring. Who cares if I don't want to talk about my job? Trust me, he doesn't want to know some of the shit I do on a daily basis.
*drums fingers*
I'm bored. I need something to occupy my mind and body tonight.
posted by Alexis @ 3:47 PM
11 Comments:
At 2:26 AM,
Dulcinea said…
Get out a pair of your best fishnets, baby. I'll be home on Friday! And SINGLE! (albeit a bit on the sad side)
By the way.. what do you mean you're friends are boring? Thanks!
At 6:36 PM,
Alexis said…
Well of course I didn't mean you. We always have so much fun when we see each other.
When we see each other.
At 1:02 PM,
Dulcinea said…
WHERE ARE YOU! Just got home, and I've been trying to call you. Call me. I'm lonely :-(
At 1:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
I hear you girl, I hear you.. My boy du jour finds it difficult to understand when I say: you come over to my place, we have awesome sex and then you go home and leave me alone. I mean, what’s there not to understand?? Sigh... I thought my Irish lover was going to be a libertine...
At 3:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
D, M and E... would love to see you in your fishnets... particularly M...
Why don't you three use your female charms to play some sort of mischief on Q? I wonder how would he respond to being enticed to the possibility of a menage-a-quatre?
I am sure he would freak out completely...
At 6:51 AM,
Unknown said…
Prislander, didn't you leave almost the EXACT same comment on my blog?! Ahem. And people (aka, you Maria) wonder why I would possibly want to go on a Man Ban (assuming you're a man, Pris...which I do).
Eva, I love the way you think. Back in the days when I was actually having sex, I used to tell flames that the only thing I wanted to stick around for in the morning was more sex...not breakfast, not long sleepy conversations about life, but more sex. Otherwise (and usually) I was gone before the sun rose.
Such is the life of a renegade.
At 1:21 PM,
Anonymous said…
Amber: I left the same comment on your blog because it was meant to be addressed to D, M and you... I just got confused and typed E (Eva) instead. Apologies for my faux pas.
Not sure what was it about my comment that you found objectionable. My only purpose was to suggest a practical joke on Q that could make him twitch a little. True, I also threw a compliment at the three of you as I think you are all intelligent, beautiful and very attractive women. I don't feel I need to apologize for that and if that makes you reassert your celibacy vows... then so be it.
Lastly, Amber... your assumption on my gender is correct... I am a male Puerto Rican Islander.
At 6:41 PM,
Unknown said…
Aw, Prislander. See, I thought you were doing that thing where you give one girl a line, and then walk further on down the bar and give another girl the exact same line. Dig? But thank you for explaining, and thank you for the compliment.
At 11:47 AM,
Alexis said…
I'm not fooled. Amber, your assertion is correct, since all men are basically the same.
At 7:23 PM,
Anonymous said…
All men are basically the same? If so, then:
Napoleon = Ghandi?
Hitler = JF Kennedy?
Quixote = Sancho?
Hillary Clinton = Mother Theresa? (oops... sorry... men only, right?)
Prince Charles = Nelson Mandela?
Nope... don't think I'm buying that... not even close. I accept there might be behavioral patterns related to geographical, age, ethnical or other factors; however, even within those patterns, we men are as diverse as snowflakes... just like women...
Claiming otherwise speaks more about the limitations of your experience than the homogeneity of our character.
At 6:53 PM,
Dulcinea said…
touché
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